Reframing Our Stories: Healing from Inherited Trauma
As a coach, healer and woman, I’ve learned that the stories we tell ourselves deeply impact and shape our reality. As someone who struggled with trauma, for years I lived by narratives that were not my own, interpretations of events and actions that led me to underestimate my worth and potential. This blog post is a reflection on those inaccurate meanings and a guide to rewriting our personal stories for a more empowered life.
From a young age, we are impressionable, and the actions of those around us can leave indelible marks. We often assign meanings to these actions, and these interpretations can become deeply ingrained, affecting how we view ourselves and interact with the world. For me, these meanings manifested in self-doubt and a diminished sense of self that infiltrated my relationships, particularly with my husband and those outside my immediate family.
The first step to change is awareness. I began to notice a pattern in my thoughts and behaviors that didn’t align with who I wanted to be and how I wanted to experience life. I realized that I was carrying the weight of past generations, their fears and limitations. It was time to question the truth of these inherited beliefs and the meanings I had created.
One of the most transformative practices I adopted was to speak up. Silence can be a breeding ground for misunderstanding and resentment. By voicing my concerns, especially when the stakes were high, I reclaimed my narrative. It wasn’t about confrontation but about honest expression and setting boundaries for my mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
No, it wasn’t easy and I still find it hard to do sometimes but, as with every life skill, it is something that can be fostered and improved through learning and practice.
Reflection became my ally in discerning truth from fiction. In moments of doubt, I paused to ask myself, “Is this thing I’m feeling/thinking absolutely true?” – More often than not, it wasn’t. This realization allowed me to re-adjust my perspective and approach situations with a newfound sense of power.
A significant shift occurred when I centered my energy on what I could control: my words, thoughts, feelings, and actions. By doing so, the grip of outer circumstances on my life started to be less and less each time. I started cultivating a mindset that prioritized my agency and autonomy, leading to healthier interactions and a stronger sense of self. As a mother and a wife, this shift had an incredible influence on my family dynamics.
Strategies for Healing and Growth
To anyone on a similar journey, here are the strategies that have aided my healing and growth:
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can be a cathartic way to process emotions and challenge the narratives you’ve accepted as truth. You’ll start to see how naturally your thoughts come out and then you can evaluate if these are worth keeping or should be transformed.
Professional Support: A professional can offer guidance and support as you navigate the complexities of healing from trauma. Whether it is a coach, a therapist, a holistic healer, some help can make a difference.
Mindfulness: Practices like meditation, shaking or deep breathing can ground you in the present, reducing the influence of past traumas on your current state.
Education: Learning about the effects of trauma can empower you to recognize symptoms and triggers, helping you to manage them more effectively. IMPORTANT: Acknowledging these should work as a catalyst to healing and compassion, never as a label to justify harmful behaviors, rudeness or stagnancy.
Community: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and understand you. A supportive network can be a strong source of strength and encouragement.
Healing from childhood and generational trauma is a journey of reclaiming the self. It involves shedding the inaccurate meanings we’ve attached to the actions of others and embracing our inherent worth. By speaking up, reflecting on the moment, and focusing on what we can control, we can rewrite our stories. We can emerge not just as survivors, but as architects of our destiny, crafting lives filled with purpose, love, and authenticity.
Remember, the meanings we create are within our power to change. Let’s choose narratives that honor our resilience and potential. Together, let’s step into a future where our past does not define us, but rather informs the strength and wisdom with which we build our tomorrows.
I support you!