Quitting Traditional Paths: My Search for True Healing
I once believed that doing what everyone else did—therapy, self-help, venting to friends, or even taking medication—would magically make my life better. That’s what every single blog and self-help book said, right? But I found myself more lost, desperate, and hopeless after two and a half years of trying everything. Quitting these approaches felt counterproductive, but it was necessary for me to truly heal and I want to share the story with you. I know this will be a breaking point for you too and you’ll be glad you read this till the end!
My first step: I quit therapy. Week after week, my sessions felt stagnant, with the therapist repeatedly suggesting medications I didn’t want to take. She insisted I needed these medications, making me feel like a failure for not coping “correctly.” My toolbox of coping strategies felt empty, filled with impractical advice like “be the CEO of your household.” I was struggling with my identity as a stay-at-home mom and felt overwhelmed by the labels thrown at me.
My dependency on therapy sessions grew, each visit leaving me without real answers, just more questions. The therapist even pressured me to involve my husband, who had a completely different upbringing and couldn’t relate to my struggles. His metaphorical “white picket fence” childhood stood in stark contrast to my own. I felt gaslighted for not wanting to be vulnerable with him in sessions but later understood that it was a wise decision. He couldn’t understand, and it wasn’t something to blame him for. There will be people who literally don’t get your struggles, even if they empathize with you, their understanding might not go that far ( and I’m happy for them, honestly!)
I went through a lot of shitty moments with the therapist and realized that these traditional paths were not my solutions. I decided to embark on a different journey to heal.
The therapy sessions felt toxic, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was tired of running on this hamster wheel, thinking I needed this lady to give me the answers to get out of my ditch. I decided to never go back because the answers weren’t coming from my therapist. This is something important I learned: Healing is not about going to some sessions and waiting for the other person to digest your stuff for you. We go there because we have to learn how to deal with our stuff, we need to expand our toolbox and there are no shortcuts for it.
Step two: I quit binging self-help. Therapy gave me labels—codependency, anxiety, childhood emotional neglect—without proper explanations. Desperate for answers, I turned to Google and devoured every resource I could find. Melody Beattie’s books on codependency became my bible, and I binged self-help content nonstop.
But I was drowning in information. I had so many facts but no tangible action steps. The self-help advice felt too advanced for where I was in my journey. There was no accountability or support, just an overwhelming amount of information that left me more confused. I found myself scribbling notes in my car at red lights, hoping for a breakthrough.
Self-help became another vicious cycle. I needed actionable steps and someone to guide me, but all I got was more information without direction. I was spiraling and getting nowhere fast and many people go through this nowadays because there is a crazy amount of content creators and not all of them help, and that’s a hard pill to swallow for some. Nope, following all the creators, buying the super expensive guides and doing the generic EFT sessions is not healing you if you’re not getting the right guidance from a certified professional that knows how to help you in a way that is right for you.
Step three: I also stopped considering medication. Therapy and self-help hadn’t worked, and I started to wonder if my therapist was right about the meds. But I knew my struggles were learned behaviors—codependency, enmeshment, anxiety—not chemical imbalances. Medications might offer temporary relief, but they wouldn’t address the root of my problems.
I feared the side effects and the time it would take for the meds to work, if they even did. With young kids at home, I didn’t want to be numb or miss out on their lives. Despite friends urging me to try meds, I knew they weren’t the right solution for me—and if you do need meds and they actually help, you do you. We’re not here to shame!
The K.O: I quit venting to friends about my shitty life. I was constantly seeking validation and understanding, sharing how therapy was failing me, how self-help was overwhelming, and how I was unsure about medication. But these conversations only kept me stuck in a cycle of negativity without offering real solutions.
Every time I saw a friend or acquaintance, I would unload my problems, and the discomfort on their faces was clear. They didn't have the answers, and my constant venting made me feel more alone. Most people couldn't relate to my experiences, which left me feeling isolated and desperate.
I realized that sharing my struggles with everyone wasn't helping me. It made me feel more broken and more isolated. So I decided to keep my struggles to myself and only share with those who truly needed to know or knew how to help.
The final thing I quit was relying on labels from my therapist as an excuse or crutch. Whenever things got tough, I blamed it on being codependent, enmeshed, or dealing with childhood emotional neglect. These labels became my narrative and limited my belief in my abilities.
The more I focused on these labels, the more they influenced my self-perception and made it hard to cope. I didn’t want my kids to remember me as someone who was constantly struggling. I knew I needed to break free from these labels and find new ways to heal.
Realizing that these traditional methods were not helping, I decided to take a different path. I needed to stop relying on external sources for answers and start looking within. By acknowledging my feelings and setting boundaries, I began to heal. I found new ways to cope and moved forward without therapy, self-help binging, or medication. Here are 5 things that I did to fix my life.
I turned to meditation, yoga, and Reiki—non-traditional approaches that offered me a path to healing. That’s how I chose to become a coach, but that’s another story. If you're thinking about trying non-traditional approaches to healing, consider exploring mindfulness and other holistic practices and I’d be happy to be your guide!
Healing is not a one-size-fits-all journey. Sometimes, the traditional paths don’t work, and that’s okay. It’s important to find what resonates with you and to trust your instincts. For me, quitting therapy, self-help, and medication was the first step towards true healing. If you find yourself stuck, remember that it’s okay to forge your own path and explore healthy ways to keep moving.
I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!