Healing the Wounds of Criticism and Abandonment: My Journey of Self-Worth

Recently, I watched a young girl and her dad on a basketball court, and the scene took me back to some painful episodes in my own life. Her father was harshly criticizing her, and it was clear she had his words replaying in her mind over and over. She was beaten down, and it seemed like she didn't believe in herself anymore. I wanted to yell, "Hey, are you okay?" But I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or seem like I was spying on their interaction. I wanted her to know that she was seen and that I felt her pain.

This moment triggered memories from my own life. It reminded me of struggling with math in elementary school. My dad, a math whiz, would get so frustrated with me. I just couldn't grasp the concepts, no matter how hard he tried to explain. His frustration turned into anger, and he'd pound his hand on the table, yelling, "This is easy! Why don't you get this?" I would sob, unable to explain why my brain just couldn't get it.

This experience wasn't limited to my childhood. It echoed in my relationships too. I had an abusive boyfriend in high school. Initially, I felt like the center of his universe. It was magical, unlike anything I'd felt before. But that quickly turned into control and criticism. He dictated what I wore, how I looked, and even how I communicated. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him.

Watching the girl on the basketball court, I felt her pain. It was a reminder of the shame and abandonment I had experienced. Her father didn't say one good thing to her the entire time, no matter how hard she tried. It was heart-wrenching.

Feeling abandoned has been a recurring theme in my life. When my parents divorced, I felt abandoned. When my dad remarried despite my pleas, I felt it again. My high school boyfriend's on-and-off behavior added to this feeling. Each episode of abandonment added layers of shame and despair.

Walking from my mom's house to my boyfriend's house, feeling utterly alone and unprotected, was a vivid memory. The constant cycle of abandonment and shame took a massive toll on me, making me feel like I didn't matter.

I want to share this story because if you've ever felt like the girl on the basketball court, or like me during those times, know that you are not alone. You are seen, you are heard, and your experiences are valid. Yes, it feels incredibly painful at the moment, but it doesn't define you. You are worthy and loved, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Healing is about getting to a place where you can show love and compassion to yourself. It's about understanding that you are seen, heard, and valued. This journey is tough, but it's worth it. The community is here to support you, and together, we can navigate this path to healing and self-worth.

I hope it brings you comfort and encouragement!

I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!