Stop Comparing Yourself!
Have you ever been out, probably walking around with your kids or running errands and stumble upon another mom with her kids and can’t avoid comparing yourself to her? I know what you’re thinking: “She looks SO good”, “Her kids seem to be SO well-behaved”, “She’s blah-blah-blah”. Mom, I know, I’ve been there too!
Going down the comparison hole is such a degrading, neglectful and hurtful situation because we tend to believe that other moms are doing better than we are and we can’t help but feel frustrated because it seems too easy for them but too confusing for us.
Let’s reality-check here for a minute: That whole scene is happening inside your head and nowhere else. That’s an assumption you’re making and most probably you’re just seeing an episode, not the full season of the series. Stop sabotaging yourself into believing that everyone else is wonderful and you’re not because we’re all struggling with our own stuff. You don’t have to be so harsh on yourself.
If this sounds like you, I got you!
Here are some practical steps that you can take, starting today, to stop comparing:
1. Practice self-awareness: Start by becoming aware of when you are comparing yourself to other moms. Notice the thoughts that come up, the feelings that arise, and the behaviors that follow. This will help you understand your triggers and patterns.
2. Challenge your beliefs: Now that you are aware of what your beliefs are, challenge the thoughts that come up. Ask yourself if they are true -this is key! -, helpful, or kind. Reframe your thoughts in a more positive, realistic, and compassionate way. A great way to stop the negative self-talk is to ask yourself: “Who told you that?”.
Most times those thoughts are nurtured by our insecurities, anxiety, the voices of others, etcetera, but they’re not really ours. Bear that in mind!
3. Focus on your strengths: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own strengths and accomplishments. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Write them down in a journal or share them with a supportive friend or family member.
4. Limit social media use: Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. Consider taking a break from social media or limiting your use. If you do use social media, follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, rather than ones that trigger comparison or negative self-talk. Unfollow whoever you need to unfollow in order to create a safe space for yourself.
5. Build a support network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or a coach who can help you stay positive and motivated. Share your struggles, fears, and successes with them. They can offer a different perspective, encouragement, and accountability.
6. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for building resilience and reducing stress. Make time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. This can include exercise, meditation, reading, taking a bath, or spending time in nature. When you prioritize your own well-being, you are better equipped to handle challenges and negative self-talk.
7. Focus on your own journey: Remember that every mom's journey is unique. Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle or end. Trust that you are doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have. Celebrate your progress and keep moving forward at your own pace.
By taking these steps and making them rocks to build your path, you can learn to stop comparing yourself to others, build self-confidence, and focus on your own unique journey. The healthier you are, the better you’ll be for your kids as well. Remember that they’re learning from you all the time. Choose to be a positive example!
Connecting with a coach can help you build the strength and confidence you’re needing and I’d love to help you with that. I’m Kim Keane and I understand what you’re going through because I walked a similar road before and now I help moms find their way to a healthier life.