Do You Agree?
“We have a dysfunctional dream of the planet, and humans are mentally sick with a disease called fear. The symptoms are all the emotions that make humans suffer: anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. When the fear is too great the reasoning mind begins to fail and we call this mental illness. (...) We don’t have to suffer any longer. First, we need the truth to open the emotional wounds, take the poison out, and heal the wounds completely. How do we do this? We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for this injustice. Forgiveness is the only way to heal. We can choose to forgive because we feel compassion for ourselves.”
These words belong to Don Miguel Ruiz, writer of the book ‘The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom’, which is one of those books that transform your life forever, even if you’re super skeptical. Trust me.
These Four Agreements derive from ancient Toltec wisdom. The Toltecs are a Mesoamerican Mexican culture, whose deep spiritual knowledge still proves to be a powerful way to overcome limiting beliefs and suffering today, and I want to share them with you as a gift that should be trespassed from one to another and between generations.
First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word
We are way too used to dodging expressing our genuine selves, even when asked little things like ‘how are you?’, have you noticed this?
We often refrain from expressing our feelings without judgment and we spread emotional poison by gossiping or speaking from a low-vibrating place of pain, resentment, jealousy, etcetera.
Words are powerful. Do not use them against yourself, by telling yourself stories that don’t serve you (like ‘I’m not worthy, I am ugly, …’). Change the narrative and use them to speak from a place of love to others and especially to yourself.
This is how you powerfully communicate your intentions and create the life you truly want to live.
Second Agreement: Don’t take anything personally
This may be a big one to take in, but: Nothing anyone ever does or says is because of you, or about you. It is always about themselves.
Consequently, everything you say or do, is an expression of yourself.
Take a moment to let it sink in because I know that It may be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you’ve gone through horrible experiences, abuse or trauma.
You are responsible for your reaction because there is a part within you that has not found peace yet and they did what they did because some part of them is dissatisfied, unbalanced, afraid, and insecure. They are not mean because you make them so, they are mean because there’s something unresolved within themselves.
So, don’t take it personally. It is not about you. We are all walking our own paths.
That is the freedom of the second agreement: Don’t focus on what you can’t control (other people’s realities), focus on what you can control (your own reaction and perception).
Third Agreement: Don’t make assumptions
Before you make assumptions about anything, keep your mind open and free and give others the benefit of doubt.
There’s a simple trick to use when you’re not sure about something someone else is doing and I want to share it with you because it is MINDBLOWING. Simply ask for the truth. Ask the reasons before attacking them for it, understanding that you don’t have to like their motives. This will give you mutual space to express your honest feelings, without spiraling into hurt feelings.
The act of asking is so simple but it requires lots of compassion, courage and respect… and it spares you a lot of emotional drama as well.
Fourth Agreement: Always do your best
If you feel like you’re not doing enough or like what you’re doing is not good enough, there’s a simple antidote to it.
Always do your best. That’s it.
Because, honestly, you can’t do more than that. Some days your best will look very different than on a day you’re feeling great.
Doing your best doesn’t mean exhausting yourself – it means respecting your limitations and still trying to show up as good as you can.
No one else can blame you, because your conscience will be pure. You have given your best. There is no need nor space for self-judgment or guilt. Every day, every moment is a chance to give your best, no matter if it is a 101% or a 5%
The fourth agreement is also the key to keeping up with the first three agreements.
Bearing in mind these four agreements and including them little by little in your life can help you stick to a more responsible, conscious and centered lifestyle. You’ll also see how your relationships improve and how you start to feel better as a whole.
Have you heard of these before?
Are you ready to make the shift?