Embarking on a healing journey is a deeply personal and transformative experience. However, it’s not uncommon to encounter obstacles along the way. Today I want to share with you some of the most common mistakes I’ve seen people make on their healing journey -from my perspective as a coach- and practical ways to overcome them.

1. Ignoring the Need for Healing

Many people fail to recognize or admit that they need healing. They might distract themselves with work, social activities, or other external factors to avoid facing their inner pain, which is completely understandable because, truth be told, healing is not the easiest task in life, and especially after living a life and being used to your personal hell, facing those those skeletons hiding in the closet can feel like the most daunting task ever.

The first step to address it is acknowledging that you need healing. This requires vulnerability and honesty with yourself. Take time to reflect on your emotions and recognize the areas in your life that need attention. You’ll learn to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable later along the way!

2. Blaming External Factors

When feeling stuck or overwhelmed, it’s easy to blame external factors like jobs, relationships, or daily inconveniences, and, while these can contribute to stress, they are often not the root cause of deeper emotional pain, trauma or lack of social skills.

If you want to heal and start moving at a pace that truly serves you, stop putting external factors or the way and shift your focus inward. Understand that while external factors can trigger negative emotions, the root cause often lies within and gets “awakened” when triggered. The negative emotion is often a reaction to an old situation that feels similar to what you’re facing today, not a reaction to the current event per se. Practice self-reflection and identify the underlying issues that need healing. Go back to that past; not to relieve it but to understand that, whatever that was, is in the past, don’t bring it to your present!

3. Over-reliance on Labels

Receiving a label such as “anxious,” “codependent,” or “depressed” can provide a sense of understanding and for some, it might also bring relief because now you kinda know what you’re going through. However, over-identifying with these labels can hinder progress and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Use labels as tools for awareness, not as definitions of your identity. Recognize that these labels describe patterns of behavior or thoughts that can (and should) be changed, not who you are. Focus on addressing the underlying issues rather than clinging to the label.

4. Avoiding Responsibility

It’s tempting to use labels as excuses for not taking action. Statements like “I can’t do this because I’m anxious” or “I’m always depressed” can prevent you from making positive changes.

If you really want to heal, you must take responsibility for your healing journey. Acknowledge the challenges posed by your labels, but don’t let them define your capabilities, your personality, or your existence. A life coach can help you develop strategies to manage and overcome these challenges.

5. Lack of Boundaries

Failing to set and maintain healthy boundaries can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, used, or taken advantage of. This is especially common in individuals with codependent traits.

The solution here is to learn to set clear boundaries. Communicate your needs and limits to others. Practice saying ‘no’ when necessary and prioritize your well-being.

6. Seeking Quick Fixes

The desire for a quick solution is common -and I get it!- but can lead to frustration and disappointment because that’s nearly impossible. Healing is a gradual process that requires time, compassion, and patience.

Embrace the journey. Understand that healing is not a linear process and that setbacks are a natural part of growth. Celebrate small victories and remain committed to your long-term well-being!

7. Isolation

Healing can feel like a lonely journey, leading some to withdraw from social support. It’s normal to go through different stages, face grief, and rage, lose people along the way, recognize that you’ve been harmed, etcetera. Isolation can exacerbate feelings of hopelessness and despair.

I highly suggest that you seek support from trusted friends, family, coaches. Sharing your experiences and receiving encouragement can provide valuable perspective and motivation.

8. Negative Self-Talk

Engaging in negative self-talk can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. Phrases like “This is the way I am” can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Learn to practice self-compassion. Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and progress rather than your perceived shortcomings. I have many blogs on this with valuable tips and skills that you can incorporate into your dynamic.

9. Ignoring Self-Care

Neglecting self-care can hinder the healing process. Physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are interconnected, and neglecting one aspect can impact the others as a chain reaction.

Learn to prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit. This can include exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time in nature. Learn to be more selective with the connections you make, the way you talk to yourself and/or how you allow others to express about you, and the content you consume–this is a big one!

10. Clinging to the Past

Yes, along the healing journey it is necessary to revisit old experiences, some of those might hurt like hell to this day, but holding onto past traumas and grievances can prevent you from moving forward. You have to be careful and learn to detach from it because reliving past pain can keep you stuck in a cycle of suffering.

Learning to let go doesn’t mean forgetting or invalidating your experiences, but rather accepting them and choosing to move forward. Seek therapeutic techniques such as mindfulness, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or reiki to help release past pain.

The healing journey is unique for each individual, and it’s natural to encounter challenges along the way. By recognizing and addressing these common mistakes, you can navigate your path with greater awareness and resilience. Remember, healing is a continuous process of growth and self-discovery. Embrace the journey, be patient with yourself, and celebrate every step forward.

I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support. You can also download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!

Common Mistakes on the Healing Journey- and How to Fix Them