The Seven Stages of Healing: My Journey Through Emotional Recovery
Embarking on a healing journey is a profound and deeply personal experience. It’s not a linear path but rather a winding road with many twists and turns. In this blog, I want to share the seven stages I encountered during my healing journey, and most likely you’ll find them too. In my experience, these stages don’t necessarily follow a specific order, and you may find yourself revisiting some stages multiple times. Understanding these stages can help you navigate your own healing process with greater awareness and compassion.
I’m Kim Keane and I started my healing journey many years ago, after discovering I was dealing with generational trauma. I changed my life and became a certified coach and energy healer to help you transform your life too; your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. Without further do, let’s dive into the seven stages of the healing journey:
1. Shock and Denial
When I first began my healing journey, I was in shock. I had expected a straightforward process with a few easy steps to achieve happiness and relief from my burdens. I thought therapy would provide quick solutions to my identity crisis. However, the reality was far from what I had anticipated. The journey started with unhealed childhood trauma that had been simmering beneath the surface for years. This initial shock was overwhelming, as I realized the depth of the issues I needed to address.
2. Anger
As I delved deeper into therapy, I encountered a range of labels that left me feeling shocked and angry. Terms like codependency, anxiety, and childhood emotional neglect were thrown at me, each one adding to my frustration. I felt intense anger towards my parents for their role in my trauma and towards previous generations for perpetuating these patterns. This anger extended to people who seemed to have no dysfunction or trauma, including my husband, who had a vastly different upbringing. The anger was all-consuming, and I struggled to understand why my family couldn’t break the cycle before it was passed on to me.
3. Pain and Sadness
Beneath the anger lay a deep well of pain and sadness. I felt that my existence should have been enough for my parents to make the necessary changes to prevent my trauma. I mourned the experiences I missed out on due to my abusive high school relationship and the strained relationship with my parents. The pain extended to my role as a mother and wife, as I felt I wasn’t living up to my potential. This heart-wrenching pain was a constant companion, making it difficult to see a way forward.
4. Hopelessness
After years of therapy, I often felt hopeless. Despite making progress in understanding my codependency and anxiety, new labels and challenges kept emerging. It felt like I was on a turbulent ride, never truly moving the needle towards healing. This sense of hopelessness was a heavy burden, and I longed for change and relief from the constant emotional turmoil.
5. Mourning
Mourning became a significant part of my healing journey. I mourned the coping skills and healthy relationships I lacked as an adult. I grieved the lost opportunities and experiences from my childhood, high school, and college years. The weight of missed moments and unfulfilled dreams was immense. I also mourned the time I felt I was missing with my daughters as I unraveled my unhealed childhood trauma and the trauma of domestic violence.
Not everything was this sad, tho. The last two stages were the light at the end of the tunnel:
6. Acceptance
Acceptance was a turning point in my healing journey. I came to understand that my parents were doing the best they could with the tools and understanding they had. Their actions weren’t intentional, and their traumas played a significant role in their behavior. This realization allowed me to see that I wasn’t broken or flawed; I was simply out of alignment. Acceptance finally brought a sense of peace and allowed me to move forward with greater clarity.
7. Reconnection
Reconnecting with myself was a crucial step in my healing journey. I had to rediscover who I was beyond my roles as a wife, mother, and teacher. I explored my interests, hobbies, and preferences, giving myself permission to pursue activities that brought me joy. Horseback riding, a childhood dream, became a reality, and even small acts like wearing ripped jeans helped me reconnect with my authentic self. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care allowed me to rebuild my relationships with my husband and daughters. As I healed, I became more present and engaged, letting go of unnecessary worries and embracing a more joyful and connected life.
The healing journey is not a one-size-fits-all process. It’s a deeply personal and often challenging path that requires patience, self-compassion, and resilience. These seven stages are common experiences that many people encounter on their journey to emotional recovery. Remember, healing is not linear, and it’s okay to revisit stages as needed and to live them in your own way. Embrace each step with an open heart, knowing that you are not alone in your journey toward healing and self-discovery.
I can confidently say that it does get better. It might be hard, it’s a process and it’s something new full of emotions and uncertainty. In my blog you’ll find plenty of publications about healing, tips, processes, etc, but you can also DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support. You can also download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!