Unraveling Overwhelm: My Journey to Finding Peace
Ever felt crushed by the weight of the world, to the point where staying in bed seems like the only option? It's a familiar feeling for many. When I started my healing journey, I realized that my sense of overwhelm wasn’t just about a packed schedule. I had a family to care for, including two young girls, two dogs, a cat, and a husband with a crazy work routine. Staying in bed all day wasn't an option for me. Let’s dive deeper into my story of being overwhelmed and how I finally learned to deal with it in a healthy and compassionate way!
Initially, I believed my overwhelm stemmed from an overloaded schedule. I was the room mom for both of my daughters' classes, I said yes to everything, taught part-time as a graduate level college instructor, and was also studying to be a dog trainer. My plate was overflowing, and I thought that by eliminating some of these tasks, the overwhelm would disappear. But even after letting go of the teaching job and the dog training course, I still felt overwhelmed. It became clear that this wasn’t about simply lightening my load.
Another reason for my overwhelm was the multitude of labels my therapist assigned to me: codependent, enmeshed, childhood emotional neglect, anxiety, as well as antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. I was even gaslighted for not taking the meds. It felt like I needed a solution to manage all these add-ons and the emotions they brought. I found myself binging information, trying to gather tools and strategies to cope, but it only led to information overload. I was stuck in analysis paralysis, unable to take actionable steps.
A significant part of my overwhelm was my constant worrying about the future and the past. I worried about life ten years down the road and was stuck analyzing events from ten to twenty years ago. What would happen if I couldn’t manage my codependency or childhood emotional neglect? What about the things I didn’t accomplish because of my past abusive relationship? This constant back-and-forth prevented me from being present. It felt like trying to buy a car without having gone to Driver's Ed or gotten my license.
It felt like a never-ending nightmare, I was just too drained to wake up!
After much reflection, I discovered the real reason behind my overwhelm: I felt out of control. Leaving my teaching career left me questioning my identity. The labels from my therapist compounded my confusion. I didn’t feel like I was getting the tools I needed to manage my life effectively. I wanted to be a good mom, a supportive wife, and find a meaningful job. But the uncertainty of what each day would bring, what new challenges or labels my therapist might throw at me, made my life feel chaotic.
Eventually, I understood that I had to learn how to embrace uncertainty.
For real! Life requires a certain amount of variety and uncertainty, and we need to learn how to surf the waves, however they come. But during this period, the uncertainty was too much for me to handle. I didn’t know what to expect next – from my therapist, my kids, my husband’s work schedule, or myself! This constant state of unpredictability added a lot to my feeling of being overwhelmed.
Realizing that the root of my overwhelm was not my packed schedule, the labels, or the future and past worries, but the sense of being out of control, was a turning point. I started focusing on what I could manage and took small steps to regain control over my life. I practiced mindfulness to stay present, set realistic boundaries, and sought tools and strategies that worked for me.
I learned a lot down this bumpy road and I’m not the kind to gatekeep, so I want to share this with you.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider these coping skills to lighten your load:
· Mindfulness: Learn to focus on the present moment, rather than being bogged down by the past or future. Being present is one of the craziest things I had to learn because by doing so, I understood how much of my time and energy I spent being somewhere else mentally. If you’re present, you have to be here and now, and not just worrying but taking action.
· Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and prioritize tasks and situations that truly matter–to you! This was a game-changer, honestly, and the key here is to develop the ability to prioritize. You can start by defining what is urgent, what is important, what is valuable but can be put in second (third or fourth) place and what is none of your business at the moment. This applies to tasks, situations, and even people.
· Small Steps: Break down your goals into manageable actions. If you can’t do it mentally, grab pen and paper and write everything down to help you see clearer the sequence of steps and tasks you have to follow to get to the bigger stuff. You wouldn’t run a marathon without training first, right? This works exactly the same!
· Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help, whether from friends, family, or professionals. Trust me, there are tons of people ready and equipped to share your load with you, you just have to ask. And if you don’t have a good support net around you right now, don’t fret, you can always seek a professional (coach, therapist, energy healer, etc) or go out to nice places (sports centers, yoga, hiking, reading clubs, ceramic, cooking or painting classes) and start making new friends that are aligned and open to be there for you.
· Self-Care: Make time for activities that rejuvenate and relax you. This is a must and we, as adults with a lot of responsibilities, usually don’t prioritize it enough. Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or super time-consuming, you just have to find the things that make you happy and healthy.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and if you read all the way down here, I know you’ll be able to let go of feeling overwhelmed and start feeling in control again.
I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!