The First Sign You're Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey: Putting Yourself First
Today, we’re diving into a pivotal moment in your healing journey: recognizing that you’re tired of putting everyone else first. This might have felt like an eternity to reach, but you're here, and that's what matters. It’s time to celebrate this realization as it marks the beginning of a true transformation!
Many of us grew up believing we had to prioritize others to receive the love, acceptance, and support we craved. As children, we longed for our emotions to be validated, for affection through hugs, movie nights, or shared moments like reading together. When we didn’t receive these things, we observed others who did and learned that the way to get attention and care was to put others before ourselves.
This behavior can infiltrate any relationship—friends, coworkers, or family. We find ourselves without boundaries, and we do not know it. Our time isn't ours; our money isn't ours, and our space isn't ours. The hard pill to swallow? It’s us that are doing this to ourselves!
People often expect us to be available all the time. They might say, “We’re all going out to dinner. You should come.” Even if it’s not convenient for us, we feel pressured to join because we hear things like, “It won’t be the same without you.” Saying no feels impossible because, having grown up in an environment that pushed these behaviors on us, we feel judged or guilty when we decline.
Another example is our personal space being invaded. I had a client who struggled because a coworker kept encroaching on her desk space. She didn’t speak up, fearing she’d be seen as uncooperative. This silent resentment built up until she eventually lashed out and then felt guilty for standing up for herself.
We’ve learned to put others first, hoping they’ll eventually reciprocate. But the truth is, no matter how much we prioritize others, it’s rarely returned in kind. People get used to us always being there for them and justify their lack of reciprocation. The saddest part is that we made it happen. Not consciously, I’m not blaming you, I’ve been there too but our lack of boundaries trained them to believe all this BS.
Realizing that sacrificing our needs isn't beneficial but harmful is a significant step. It makes us vulnerable to being taken advantage of and manipulated. Now that you’ve recognized this and the veil fell, you’re ready to change.
Congratulations!
You’ve decided to dedicate your time, effort, and energy to what you want and need. This is a huge accomplishment and worth celebrating. It’s the beginning of setting boundaries, even if it feels awkward at first and you don’t know how to do it. It's okay to feel guilty initially; it's part of the process, but acknowledging that you're tired of always coming last is the start of a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Other Signs You're Ready for Healing:
Feeling Constant Exhaustion: You’re always tired, emotionally and physically, from carrying the burdens of others.
Recognizing Toxic Patterns: You start to see the unhealthy dynamics in your relationships and feel a strong urge to change them.
Desiring Peace: You crave a sense of inner peace and are willing to make changes and burn bridges to achieve it.
Seeking Self-Discovery: You have a newfound curiosity about your true self and what you genuinely want from life.
Feeling Frustrated with Your Current Situation: Your dissatisfaction pushes you to seek a better, healthier way of living.
It might feel like a lot. That’s ok, take a moment to celebrate this realization. This is no small feat. It’s a significant step toward a life where your needs and desires are as important as everyone else's. Embrace the discomfort that might come with this change—it's a sign that you're starting to put yourself first and that you’re ready to go at full speed toward your healing journey. Over time, assertive communication, boundaries, and prioritization will feel more natural.
I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!