Fourth Sign You’re Ready to Start Healing: Breaking Free from Perfectionism
Welcome back to our series on recognizing the signs that you are ready to start your healing journey. Today, we will delve into sign number four, which is about letting go of relentless perfectionism. This topic hits close to home for many of us, as we often find ourselves caught in the pursuit of perfection, only to be left feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.
Before we move further into sign #4, if you haven’t read about sign #1, sign #2 or sign #3, this is the perfect moment to do that, You can come back to this blog later!
Back to our business: You may have been trying to meet everyone's expectations and/or striving to be perfect in every aspect of your life, basically since you were born. If that’s the case, this relentless pursuit can leave you feeling like a robot, mechanically going through the motions without any real joy or satisfaction. Life becomes a series of tasks to be completed, and your inner light dims, threatening to go out completely.
The moment is now! If you already noticed all of these signs, it means that you are ready to let your hair down, get messy, and embrace what feels right for you in the moment, regardless of how others may perceive you. This is a significant sign that you are ready to start healing.
The Burden of Perfectionism in Personal Experience
Early in my healing journey, I noticed this need for perfectionism showing up in various ways. Having left my teaching career, I felt like a failure and struggled to adjust to being a stay-at-home mom. I felt guilty for not loving this new role, even though being a mom is often considered a blessing and a gift. Society conditions us to believe that we should love every moment of motherhood, but the reality is that it can be exhausting and overwhelming.
To compensate for my perceived failures, I tried to be the ideal mom. I prepared healthy snacks and meals for my kids, limited their screen time, and always tried to maintain a smiling and happy demeanor. I constantly planned activities, from ‘Mommy and Me’ groups to day trips to the zoo, all in an attempt to be the perfect parent.
A vivid example of my perfectionism was during my daughter's preschool years. Each month, we were given a family project to complete, usually a craft theme around that month. One particular project involved creating a scarecrow, and my daughter and I had very different ideas about how it should look. While I envisioned a meticulously crafted scarecrow with yellow yarn for straw and fabric clothes, my daughter wanted to scribble all over it with markers. I couldn't stand the thought of her art hanging in the hallway looking messy compared to other kids' projects. I wanted it to be perfect, reflecting well on me as a mom and former educator.
Over time, I realized the importance of allowing my daughter to express her creativity, even if it meant the project didn't look perfect. Being a mom is already demanding and exhausting, and adding the pressure to be perfect is an impossible task. It sets us up for constant struggle and feelings of inadequacy.
Reflecting on my journey, I realized that my need for perfectionism started in childhood when my dad began dating my stepmom. I wanted so badly to be seen and loved by my dad that I believed being perfect was the way to achieve that. This pattern continued into my early twenties, and it wasn't until I began my healing journey that I understood how deeply ingrained it was.
If you are ready to heal, you will find that being anything but perfect is perfectly okay. You will prefer to be your authentic self rather than morphing into a chameleon to please others. For me, this realization came when I accepted that my kids were happy, they knew I loved them, and it was okay to have screen time and a messy playroom. I stopped trying to have a perfectly decorated house and felt less stressed and anxious as a result.
This newfound freedom allowed me to be more present with my kids, my marriage, myself, and my friends. It was incredibly liberating. So, if you are at a place in your healing journey where you are tired of being perfect, embrace imperfection. It will grant you the freedom you so desperately seek.
The journey of letting go of perfectionism is not easy, but it is worth it. It allows you to experience life more fully and authentically. Brace yourself for the unexpected feelings that may arise, but know that embracing imperfection will lead to incredible growth and healing.
Start your healing journey today and discover the beauty of being perfectly imperfect!
I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!