Third Sign You’re Ready to Start Healing: You’re Facing What You've Avoided
Have you ever reached that point where you're just so tired of feeling the way you do? That feeling where you think you might finally be ready to start healing, to do the inner work you've been avoiding? If you've got that feeling, consider it a sign. It's a sign that you're ready to face what you've been running from, and believe me, you're not alone!
If you’re new to this series and you haven’t read about the first and/or second sign, you can do it here or here and then come back!
It's utterly exhausting when we constantly try to avoid the things we know we need to work through. Whether it's people, places, or things that remind us of past trauma, avoiding them takes up an enormous amount of energy. Mentally, physically, and emotionally—it's draining. When we avoid these triggers, we allow ourselves to numb out, skating around the issues without truly addressing them.
But deep down, we know this isn't sustainable.
I know this feeling all too well. After leaving my teaching career years ago, I found myself grappling with intense feelings of hopelessness. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I reached a point where I realized I had to rip off the band-aid and start doing the hard work of healing. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. But the journey taught me a lot about the things I was avoiding and why it was so important to confront them.
For instance, I used to avoid arguments with my husband because I was afraid it would scar our children. This avoidance extended to seemingly smaller triggers as well. There was a song by Tim McGraw and Nelly called "Over and Over," and my abusive ex-boyfriend used to leave it on my voicemail. Every time I heard that song, it took me back to a place of pain and abuse. I even avoided social media for years, fearing he would find me there. When I finally got on social media for my daughter's Girl Scout troop, he inevitably did find me. But when he left a message, I chose not to respond. It was a moment of reclaiming my power, realizing that the big scary thing I had been avoiding was not as daunting as I had imagined.
Avoiding certain places can also be a trigger. For years, I avoided driving by my childhood home because of the traumatic memories associated with it. Recently, I decided to drive my daughters by it, and it was amazing how the memories came flooding back. I remembered the exact corner where my childhood friend told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore, but not all of them were bad, and the many that were, didn’t impact me as I thought would. It's incredible how these memories stay with us, even decades later!
A couple of years ago, while Christmas shopping, I saw a girl who bullied me in middle school. Despite the years that had passed, I could still feel the heat rising up my back. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. But I had to chuckle to myself because, in that moment, I realized how much power I had given her over my feelings for so long. It's astonishing how much energy we expend avoiding the things that trigger us.
When we constantly avoid these people, places, and things, we stay in flight mode. This hyper-vigilance keeps us in a continuous stress response, releasing stress hormones that are harmful to our bodies over the long term. We might think that running away on vacation will make everything better, but the problems will still be there when we return. Numbing out through sleep, substance use, or compulsive shopping only gives those triggers more power over us.
It's time to decide if you're ready to take your power back. If you are, now is the time to do the work!
Ask yourself: What will it look like on the other side if you don't do the work? Will you regret it in a week, a month, or a year? We only get one shot at life, and we spend so much time running that we end up missing out on precious moments. You have the strength to stop running and face the things you're avoiding head-on.
Believe in yourself. You have the power to reclaim your life from the things that have held you back. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Trust me, I believe in you. Let's take this journey together and embrace the healing that awaits.
I hope you found this blog post helpful! Remember, you're not alone, and you have the power to change your life.
I’m Kim Keane, coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey!